Posts by life is to short

16

Did You Ever Experiment At A New Kingdom Hall By Sitting In the Back, Or Wait To Be Greeted?

by ÁrbolesdeArabia in

there is much frustration from jws who attended other kingdom halls because the jws were not friendly and actually smug!

social experiments on jw good manners and the "love that identifies the true christians" did you find it?.

it does not exist because they do not love each other unless they are authorized to from the wts..

life is to short

When my husband would give talks out there were many, many times I would stand totally by myself while my husband was talking with the elders from the hall about his talk and the opening song, etc and no one would say a word to me, I would just be standing by myself feeling stupid. No one would come up to me at all. I remember this one time my husband knew some of the elders in the hall so they were having this sort of elders meeting before meeting and I was left totally by myself feeling stupid like so many times before when I looked over at the other women and they were just staring at me. I felt like I was back in middle school. So I went up to some of the women and tried to talk to them, it was like I had spinach in my teeth or something repulsive about me. They just gave me one word answers and I waked away feeling even more stupid.

I always tired myself to say hi to new ones who came to the meetings because I hated that feeling of no one noticing you. So this new couple came to the hall right before I stopped going and I went up and talked to the wife, turned out we knew some of the same people and I had very nice conversation with her. Little did I know that the PO CoBE was watching and I got talked to by him because this couple decided to come to our hall as it was to quote them it was so "friendly" and the CoBE told me they were a problem family and I just caused the elders more work. I was just blown away by the CoBE's talking to me like that. 'Really' the CoBE told me I was too friendly.

Turned out that they soon made the husband a MS and are using the heck out of him, it must have turned out he was not the problem family the CoBE thought he was I guess.

LITS

66

Who pioneered with the promise of having 'Jehovah provide' and ended up dirt poor anyway?

by Julia Orwell in

jw
friends

i ask this because the wt always bangs on about if you trust in jehovah and make that leap into pioneering, you will always be provided for.

at the time i joined the cult, a friend was continuous aux.

pioneering.

life is to short

HarryMac

I meant to say I hated every minute of it. I get in a hurry when I post sometimes sorry.

I have not pioneered since we came back from Bethel. But I always felt such huge guilt about not doing it. I was such a true believer. Even after seeing so much bad a Bethel I chocked it up to imperfect men. That it was still the true religion but that Jehovah was allowing me to be tested, etc. I totally still bought into what my husband was telling me, to just "keep my blinders on", "not to look to closely at what other were doing only what I was doing", "Jehovah would bless me for what I did", etc.

But after Bethel we had NO MONEY and no one helped us, I prayed by brains out to Jehovah and I heard nothing. So I worked and worked, we got a home all the while I told myself that I would start back pioneering, then it was after I could save just a little bit more, then I felt such huge guilt because I did not want to pioneer. When you pioneer you have to work low paying jobs with no health insurance, etc and I just could not stand to think of it, plus you have to spend huge amounts of time with people who you do not like and how HATE YOU and who make sure you know that they hate you in the car groups for service.

Anyway a pedophile moved into my hall and the whole house of cards fell down and I realized it is truly a cult and my guilt of not pioneering went away.

LITS

66

"The END is soooooo close"

by Phizzy in

i notice reported in a number of posts that this seems to a bit of a mantra with the dubbies now, more so than ever in the past.. is this because they are getting desperate for the life they live as jw's to change ?

they don't really want to end their days with the constant drudgery of the jw life still going on, they want something different, but must "wait on jehovah".

sigh.. i wonder if this is a small opportunity for us to sow some small, niggling doubt, why not ask, when they spew out the "it is soooo close" nonsense:.

life is to short

I just got a card in the mail from my long time girlfriend who is now pushing 51 years old, she has pioneered since leaving high school which is 33 years now. Both her and her husband have worked at jobs that are very physical and not always paying great.

She wrote me "Very soon we will experience our deliverance from this wicked world and live in the New World."

It just made me so sad to read that, she is just desperately hanging onto a hope that was promised to her if she did what she was told.

I know they have always been in debt charging on credit as she once told me why not use credit cards the system is going to end soon and we will not have to worry about paying them back, that was about 12 years ago, those cards have been long due to have been paid back by now.

It is truly a sad life for those who have given up everything for the false promise of never having to die.

LITS

66

Who pioneered with the promise of having 'Jehovah provide' and ended up dirt poor anyway?

by Julia Orwell in

jw
friends

i ask this because the wt always bangs on about if you trust in jehovah and make that leap into pioneering, you will always be provided for.

at the time i joined the cult, a friend was continuous aux.

pioneering.

life is to short

When I got married my husband told me all I needed to do was relay on Jehovah and we would have all we needed. He made $200.00 a month and our car gas bill for field service was $120.00 a month, simple math says we could not live on it but he insisted that Jehovah provided for him though he did admit to me that he went hunger many times before we were married.

I was young and in love and thought I could do it also, I only lasted a month before I looked for work, I than worked 30 to 35 hours a week plus pioneered 90 hours a month and supported not only myself, my husband but also as many pioneers as my husband could pack into our Honda Civic which was amazing that sometimes he would get seven into it. None of the other pioneers gave us a dime for gas and none of them wanted me to ride in there cars. One pioneer couple my age got a brand new car and would park it a block from the hall so as to not get door dings on it and then they would squeeze their fat bodies into our car.

I never went hungry as I worked in a restaurant but I look back on those time with total sadness. I was so depressed and sad all the time, I had no joy at all. Here I was newly married and I truly did love my husband but all we did was field service which meant just driving around aimless lee packing on miles and miles on our car we put 35,000 on a year as no one wanted to really do door to door work. My husband and I had no time together as a couple it was all field service or him doing elder stuff.

I hate every minute of it.
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53

Why elders' wives are such gossipers...

by Calebs Airplane in

i have a theory as to why elders' wives gossip so much.

i believe a big part of it has to do with the conversation running dry (between themselves and their elder husbands) after so many years of marriage.

since they don't get to spend too much "quality time" together (because of the elder husband's hamster wheel schedule), when they do have some intimate time alone, the elder's wives will invaribly attempt to engage their husbands in any kind of interchange.

life is to short

I was like Blonde and I never knew anything that went on in the hall nor did I want too. I hated it when I heard gossip and I always stopped it right away.

I do know that the CoBE was one of the largest gossipers around and like Blonde said he would give out enough information that any idiot could figure out who he was talking about.

I also agree with tiki that the religion breeds insecurity. As an elders wife I could never do enough, invite people over enough, go out in service enough, etc. I worked too much I was told over and over yet somehow I was expected to pay for gas for service, taking the speaker out for lunch, feeding the CO, hosting book study, helping ones in the hall who needed help and that included MONEY to give them, etc yet I was not supposed to work so much and devote more time to field service and relay more on Jehovah to pick up the slack. Yet when we did not have money to give I was yelled at for that too. My husband was devoted to being an elder especially when we were first married and made hardly anything so we could be where the need was great and help out where Jehovah needed us. I have been told and told and told that if I had just had more faith that Jehovah would have picked up the slack, but I was not allowing Jehovah to help me because I worked. Plus all Jehovah ever promised us was just enough to survive. I have been told over and over that many pioneers back in the 40's and 50's slept in cardboard boxes and lived on one sandwich a day but Jehovah gave them the box and the sandwich.

One of the things I hated the most was sitting around while my husband was in elders meetings for hours and hours on end. The other elders wifes would all get together in a group and exclude me because I DID NOT AND WOULD NOT GOSSIP. It was hell sitting in a room with a bunch of women who hated me. Same for field service. I have been told many times I could just go home as there was no room for me when I would meet for service.

I guess I hate it when elders wife's are labeled as gossipers because not all of us were. Some of us were treated like dirt.

LITS

42

Leaving...

by LouBelle in

jw
friends

i just broke down in such an ugly cry at work.

walked outside and just sobbed my guts out.

i am so very unhappy here.

life is to short

I am worried about you. Many on this thread have given you good advice.

I am just so sorry for what you are going through, I have been so low like you in a horrible job and I thought there was no way out also but to take my life, things worked out through but it was beyond painful at the time. Pioneering was one of the times I truly thought about taking my life because all the other pioneers HATED me so much in the car groups and I felt beyond trapped with my husband being an elder and so much expected of me being an elders wife. But life changed and I made it through, you will too. Please do not harm yourself over this even though you are so low.

My heart just breaks for you, telling you to just hang in there and tomorrow will be better is just so stupidly hollow. I wish I had some magic words to say but I do not know what to say. I remember being told stupid stuff when I was crying my eyes out at the meetings and it just made everything so much worse. There was this one sister who kept running into me when I was so low and the stupid things that came out of her mouth still hurt till this day. Please becareful not to listen to stupid people.

All I can say is please do not harm yourself, this job is not worth it and we all truly love and care about you on this board. Please take care of yourself and you health first.

LITS

89

Mouthy Grace is not well. Please send love.

by return of parakeet in

jw
friends

in another thread, mouthy said she was "not well" and mentioned "kicking the bucket.

i believe she needs some encouragement and well wishes.. mouthy, you don't need to respond to this thread if you don't feel up to it.

just consider it an exceptionally long get-well card..

life is to short

(((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))) from me also. Hope you feel better soon. We need you here so do not get any ideas on going any where OK.

LITS

216

My Final Goodbye

by Lady Lee in

i want to start by saying i will not participate in discussion here about my resignation as a moderator at jwn.. simon please consider this as my resignation from that position.. i have been posting on this board for almost 12 years.

i know some of you a lot, others a little and some not very well at all.

i have remained here for those of you who have needed support as you make the transition out of the wts, who needed someone to listen to your experiences of abuse at the hands of jehovah's witnesses, and to both laugh and cry with you as you progress out of the watchtower society.. we know that we have all experienced the cruelty of abuse of one kind or another.

life is to short

Lady Lee you have helped me so very much, I just want you to know that. Your help when I was so down was tremendous you understanding of abuse was and is spot on. Thank you.

I truly hope the very best for you.

LITS

10

Build it and Make Them Come

by OnTheWayOut in

it's the same old story with watchtower, even at the local level.. my mother has to drive a slightly uncomfortable distance to her kingdom hall in affluent suburbia.

she doesn't mind because the neighborhoods are nice and she sticks to main streets, but she is coming home by herself late on thursday night.

(she is married to an unbeliever.

life is to short

They are doing the same thing with my husband's hall. There is noting wrong with the halls but they just want a bigger building and they claim the parking is bad at both halls so with a new hall 'the parking would be so much better.'

Both halls they want to get rid of are totally paid for and like you said they will now go into debt to the WTS with the new one.

My husband and I were out to lunch last Sunday and we run into this sister at the restaurant who goes to the other hall that will share the building with my husband hall. She is a totally over bearing person and when I saw here my appetite vanished. So much for a nice lunch out.

She does not know I am out of the religion and she was just gushing over the new hall and how Jehovah was directing it yad, yad, yad , I just looked at her and started to say why in the world with all the brothers in such poor country's would Jehovah bless us with a new hall when our halls are in great shape and there is nothing wrong with them. Wouldn't it be so much better to send the money that will be used to build this new hall over to these poor country's so that our bothers and sisters there can at the very least have a hall.

She quickly had to leave and never answered me.

LITS

37

Bethel Brother's explanation to young mother as to WHY God would destroy children at armegeddon

by Newly Enlightened in

back when we were still active in the cong.

we became friends with a young couple with 2 small kids.

they were newly baptized and wanting a better future for their kids.

life is to short

On the flip side I was raised by abusive JW parents in the "truth". When I questioned a CO about about how I was raised and how no one in the "truth" helped mw especially the elders who knew what I was going through. No one even called child protective services when my dad told them he was going to kill me when I was in my teens.

This CO told me that Jehovah knew my heart and he allowed me to have my parents because he knew that I probably would not have accepted the "truth" anyway else and Jehovah wanted me so badly that he just allowed all my pain and abuse to happen.

I felt like throwing up.

LITS